Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Shocked and being in way over my head I said "yes" .. As with Oedipus, Jocasta--a character in a play--is an example of the perverse outcome of forbidden gratifications; but also, as with Oedipus, she is the figurative presentation of normal variations on a theme. Very shitty. For some people, conscious thoughts and feelings, or ‘memories,’ about the overwhelming traumatic circumstance may emerge at a later date.”. Change your name. Maybe you can piece together what is happening. If anyone gets a PM from iznotiz, TheBroodyBaron or another troll, click here. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Maybe I am thinking too much about this and making it a bigger deal than it actually is but I've waited a while and there are no signs of it stopping. If you found out you're allergic to shellfish, would you eat again, even though it made you ill? If you feel she dials up the efforts though it's time to leave - otherwise this WILL fuck up your relationship with her and it WILL fuck with your head even more than it already has. Freud's Jocasta and Sophocles' Jocasta: clinical implications of the difference. This aversion may, in turn, make people less likely to address and combat incestual abuse. NIH These comments would be very different if the genders were reversed ie dad coming on to daughter. Theodor Reik saw the "Jocasta mother", with an unfulfilled adult relationship of her own and an over-concern for her child instead, as a prime source of neurosis. Matthew Besdine, "The Jocasta Complex, Mothering and Genius", This page was last edited on 16 October 2020, at 11:53. [3], George Devereux went further, arguing that the child's Oedipal complex was itself triggered by a pre-existing parental complex (Jocasta/Laius). Get ahead of the job game. This is a support group for people raised by (or being raised by) a narcissistic parent. Talk to a doctor about what your mom is doing. Vomiting. OP should break his arms to make sure this is what she really is up to. I think icing her out is working. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. 479k. My kids are the only ones who are allowed to see me in such states. I stalk you in this sub and allow others to subscribe to your posts. I'm so sorry you are dealing wth her. i have seen my mom dress/undress since childhood it didn't bother me.. Going to a baby shower with my MIL and her mom (who is still sharp and snappy at the age of 90) next weekend and I'm already getting anxiety thinking about the last time I was in this kind of setting with them. The wonderful people at r/justnofamily would have some wonderful advice for you, I'm sure. It's contagious as all hell, quite well known and the effects are... Well. Tools. My Nhalf-brother was much more susceptible to her covert incest, but that never stopped her from constantly trying to give me the same treatment. Survival and thriving teaches us the opposite: Our stories are ours to write, and our bodies are our own. An image of my mother raping me as a kid had haunted me since I’d recovered the memory, though I couldn’t make sense of it, or place where it was from. Get the latest public health information from CDC: https://www.coronavirus.gov. Then, if that doesn't work out, tell the dad. Jesus, some of these comments are scary. If you don't have anything nice to say please just ignore this post. If you have a connection with someone, and you're sure of it, is there anything stopping you from (eventually) telling her that you're uncertain of how to proceed, because of some past experiences, then see if she wants to hear more? You don't have to be cruel, but you do have to be firm. Don't be shitty, this is a support sub. I also began to seek therapy. That was the beginning of a long struggle to set boundaries .. He also, unfortunately, has a mean streak and is extremely controlling. I dunno. God help us all. 1995 Fall;49(4):484-503. doi: 10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.1995.49.4.484. Paul*, a gay man, was raped “semi-regularly” by his brother, older by five years, between the ages of 6 and 9. Lots of it in fact. I seriously doubt she even realises it herself, and she certainly doesn't want to get in your pants, she's just dealing with a bunch of stuff in herself. The usage in modern contexts involves a son with full knowledge of who his mother is. I think posting here's a good step in that direction. I honestly feel like the comment section would be completely different had this been about a dad and his daughter (oh but he's also in a midlife crisis). “It wasn’t until I was married that I started realizing the extent of his abuse. To be notified as soon as LGofHouseTargaryen posts an update click ^here. I have been VLC with my MIL since after my wedding 7 months ago which has made her of course assume the victim role which she plays so effortlessly. Rules Reminder: r/JUSTNOMIL does not tolerate shaming or trolling of any kind. 2 days later she was wearing tight jeans and a very low cut top revealing her chest and her bra. I don't want to run away from home. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Shitty. But it's definitely fun. As Jun told me: “I think I still have a very long way to go to recover, but there have been a number of ways that I’ve been able to grow and look past my abuse. It means learning to see ourselves as lovable and whole, when we’ve been taught the opposite during the most vulnerable time of our lives, by those who are meant to protect us the most. Int J Psychoanal. Get real.. had a similar experience with my older FEMALE cousin (yes! Jocasta Complex Classic Greek tragedy given a new voice By Kimberly Dark. I don't want to tell my dad and ruin my entire family. I really think OP needs to tread lightly here. There was, I recognized, an iceberg of memories beneath the surface of my life — recollections of my mother making inappropriate jokes about my genitals, and touching me in ways and places that made me feel uncomfortable. Sharing your feelings, though... that's a big part of being in a relationship with someone, right? Contact the person who is having the child, explain to them what is going on and apologize for not being able to go. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. For all those struggling to build a better life post-abuse, the road is long, often marked by depression and anxiety — and the journey may not have an end. Why Me? RAINN states that “Out of 1,000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free” (not that, with the prison-industrial complex as it is today, prison is any kind of solution). First, he has to discuss the issue with his mom. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Like I said in my previous post I love my Mom a lot and she's literally my best friend but today I feel like don't even know her. Reddit. I agree whole heartedly with this, mid-life crisis was the first thing that came to mind. And it doesn't change wrongness based on gender. so to protect my marriage, sanity and privacy I restored to VLC but NC would be heaven. Don't say anything until she does. She was actually well behaved except for 2 comments. We must discuss a form of abuse that society has stigmatized for far too long. My discovery: I’d been sexually assaulted during childhood. So, although she stands at center stage as the fulcrum of Oedipus's destruction, it is never as a mother longing for her son. For the love of God I am being real. Childhood abuse happens at crucial stages in development, throwing that development into disarray. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Transtheoretical practice of psychotherapy. Here's a suggestion on how: Ask her an open ended question or two and then wait. Don't let them win- get support and go on to live a wonderful life free of sexual violence. Jocasta first appears in The Avengers (vol. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. As a mom with 3 boys I can confirm that they’ve grown up seeing me in all states, unwashed, un-groomed, hairy, messy, clean, looking my best and everything in between. If she were my real mom I could confront her but my MIL you see is an expert victim. Your schedule just won't allow the time they want to go for reasons. why am I so bad at flirting- jocasta complex [Advice Request] I have come to grips with the fact that my mom sexually abuses me. Perhaps there is something that you don't know about. So I just wanted to give you guys an update on my problem. I know that openness and vulnerability might seem a little demanding right now, but generally, if someone is right, they're both willing to wait, and worth waiting for. Since you say you have a great relationship with her it's time to talk to her even if what you say isn't perfect, even if she gets mad, etc. Drive yourself. It makes me uncomfortable. thank you all .. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He told us when to shower, use the bathroom, sleep, wake up, how to use our time. She told me to pick it up for her because she was expecting a call from my Aunt. This is going to be a whirlwind couple of months for you as you basically reanalyze your entire life. Guys if you think I am lying or just trying to live out some weird fantasy I can’t change your mind. Content warning: descriptions of sexual violence. yes we don't fuck but I still feel violated. I'm a yes girl unfortunately :(. Underlying all this is the fact that sex-related violence, especially when it involves family dynamics, is uniquely stigmatized in our society. When I emailed survivors, I did so to find out about the other detectives out there, working to make sense of something terrible that happened. Coming to terms with being trans was a big part — being raped really fucked with my ability to rationalize my gender. I've read your update and I am so sorry you're going through this. Make eye contact. Origins. You are so on point with that statement! But OP you should tell your father that your mother is behaving strangly. Favorite Share. Email. I have never in my entire life seen my mother's legs on display like that ever. I think therapy is the only way to address this. Unfortunately it's not a good one at all. She's been dressing up in revealing outfits she normally never did and she's walking around the house wearing them when it's just us two at home. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The Jocasta complex is named for Jocasta, a Greek queen who unwittingly married her son, Oedipus. I have so many sick examples of this crazy shit. I just want everything to be how it was. Indian folk-tales often feature figures, like Jocasta, expressing maternal desire for their sons. damn, I just learned yet another concept in the crazy shit library my Nmom did. I have come to grips with the fact that my mom sexually abuses me. Ugh! I don't want to lose my mother like this and getting those same feelings for her is something I don't even want to think about.
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